Alexithymia

Wouldn't it be a great excuse if you had that time where you cannot describe your feelings? This is your excuse. You are just a sick person who does not know how to tell what you've been feelings about things. The core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relating. They were also have difficulty in distinguishing and appreciating the emotions of others. (Source : Wikipedia) . 

The accusation of being ignorance and insensitive cannot be implied to you. But seriously, do you know how hard it is to try to tell people how you've been feelings? Even without alexithymia... You feel that you are so mad... or you should be mad over something, but suddenly you feel that you don't even have the right to feel that way... or you've been feeling so happy... but still... you feel that you just don't deserve it... in the end... you just feel so empty. 

Heartless. Feelingless... is that true? Although you've kept a lot of things inside. Waiting to be exploded like a land mine waiting to be stepped on. The explosion will spread like a chernobyl disaster that caused mutation of happiness and hatred in every heart that you've intended to let them to feel it.

In a second thought you wouldn't want to let them out right? I'd rather not. I am happy this way... no... I don't know... I don't know really. Maybe i'm happy...maybe i'm not...? Maybe i'm just denying the fact that i am. Or am i? You know what i feel about this? Exactly. Let's just ignore this crap. =)




                                                                                                                                               -     FJA