Forever Alone

You have no idea how much it hurts..
When your mom tells you that..
Nobody visit you at the hospital on the day you were born,
not even your father..
That is what my mom told me..
It hurts.

I still remember the last time I celebrated my birthday..
It was at my kampung..
Everyone came..
The house is full with people celebrating my birthday..
I felt so loved and happy..
I got plenty of presents..
It was the best birthday party ever..
I was 5 years old at that time..
and that was my first..
and my last..

I used to cry every night when everyone was sleeping..
just like tonight..
When I was younger,
I promised myself that,
When I grow up..
Im gonna be a succesful person,
Im gonna find someone that care and love me,
and I will not cry anymore..
but I guess this is just a dream..

I'm cursed..
I was born alone..
and I guess I have to continue with the same pattern,
till the day I die..



Why is it so hard to feel loved ?
is it too much to ask ?