For the Most Part

For the most part I am looking forward for my life to change, for the better of course. But, for the other parts that's left, I have to say I hate change. The last time I was excited about change was when I went into uni. Young, stupid, and absolutely naive. If I wasn't all of that a few years back, I swear to God I would not have thrown myself into all of that. Then again though, nobody knows what they want to be especially when they're 17. Still, it still boggles me to this day to why I was so sure back then. Maybe I should go back to the young, stupid and naive part.

Anyway, my point in writing this is because I just want to tell everyone that I'm going away for a while. I cannot do this anymore. I need time away from all of the world. The other day I was about to cry but I did not allow myself to it. I told myself I wasn't allowed to cry because I am so blessed and that crying was a privilege that I didn't deserve. As you might realize, some people cry to make themselves feel better or just because they couldn't take it anymore. Well, I was about to cry because of all that but I didn't let myself.

I might not be answering calls or texts, go into my facebook and twitter but you can still find me. I promise you can still find me. In places I feel most at home. Where they never fail to make me smile whenever I'm there. If you know me well, you can find me in those places.

I'm okay, I'm fine. You may think I'm seeking some sort of attention, maybe I am. People are judgmental in nature, I don't really care. So, before I go on a journey, a new journey I must say, which I'm scared to death to go into, I going to go to another journey. Away from all of these things that I can't tell you. They're making me shallow. I become hateful cause of them. I don't want to be that. So, I'm going away. Wish me luck.

i have been gone anyway so...and i sorta have a little crush on anna kendrick...

PINOE

Maka semua orang dalam hidup saya boleh berambus

I hate every single inch of this place
I don't belong here
I hate every single person
People stealing my songs
The ones I grew up with
All my life 
The ones that I am not willing to share with anyone but me
They play them to my ears
Every single day like it's theirs
Well their mine

Songs that mean nothing to them
I know where they get them
They know that it's mine


Well the point is these people make me sick
Selfish brats
They don't see that I'm hurting
Nobody does
If I die here, I'd die a nobody
Stupid little house 
Stupid fucking town
With low life of a people
Stupid kids
Who the hell do they think they are
Stay out of my fucking way
Or I'll hit you with my car

They can all stop pretending that this is getting better
That someday the crazy woman will move away
Maybe she will
But I won't be where she is

This house
This town
My childhood
My life
Echoed by those songs
No more.
Tainted.

Songs of 2012 (Pt. 2)

Dunno if you remember or if you've read but i promised to do this so here goes.
My songs of 2012 part 2. but instead of showing the songs im just going to list the songs along with my fav lyrics from the song. This is again in no particular order.

1. Demons by Imagine Dragons
I must say that this particular album has changed my life. it's so good. the whole album is, not only "it's time"
Fav line : "No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed"

2. Alicia Keys (Girl on Fire)
Don't have a fav line, the whole song is just so empowering. An im with PwincessFi, after listening to this, I am proud to be a women. I'll leave you with this

3. I Know You Care by Ellie Goulding
fav line: i dont have any... :)

4. Some Nights by Fun
I like it cos of the harmonies, I was a choir girl so, im big on harmonies.
Fav line: "When I look into my nephew's eye, man you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from some terrible nights..."

5. Read all about it part III by Emili Sande
She sang it during the closing ceremony of the olympic games. it was my fav moment of the closing ceremony behind leong mun yee carrying the torch during one of the segment with Pele' yo, she was marching with pele', and leong mun yee is our diving legend. she has competed in 4 olympics. altho pandelela won a medal, i think the fact that she competed in four olympics was why she was selected for that segment.
fav line: "yes we're all wonderful, wonderful people, so when did we all get so fearful"
here's that perf from the closing ceremony, this is beautiful because of the background clip

that olympic perf was amazing but this is also amazing, this woman is amazing!

THAT'S IT.

Cerekarama.

(pict source : instagram)

Kahwin? Hoi! Ini bukan temporary issue~ this is like contemporary issue... sepanjang zaman...

Apa orang kata pasal kahwin? Aku tau kalau korang tak minat sekali pun... satu hari nanti korang akan pasti rasa kemaruk nak kahwin... what for? Tuntutan agama? bluergh... okay, ini bukan ceramah agama... Tapi satu hari nanti korang akan rasa bosan hidup sendirian walaupun ada bf atau gf eventho korang sudah seperti suami isteri... i mean, come on! Yang halal tu pasti rasa lain... mmm... aku tak tau apa rasa dia lah... tapi sedap je ayam, lembu, kambing dan juga arnab yang disembelih mengikut hukum syarak... tak pasti kalau aku ada termakan yang tak halal... minta tuhan halalkan saja.

Untuk yang sudah mati-mati bekerja... motivasi untuk pulang ke rumah tengok isteri yang comel adalah sangat tinggi... atau, pulang ke rumah untuk berkongsi betapa busuknya dan sampahnya tempat kerja anda dan pekerjaan seharian anda... balik rumah ada tukang urut, tukang masak... pengendali mesin basuh... dan pengendali mesin-mesin yang sewaktu dengannya... Dan begitu juga la dengan isteri yang rasa kepuasan berkhidmat kepada suami... rasa diperlukan, disayangi... and stuff~ 

Positifkan pemikiran aku yg belum mendirikan rumah tangga? 

Bukan tu yang aku nak cakap... drama lepas kahwin mmg best... tapi drama sebelum kahwin tak kurang hebatnya... nak bertunanglah, nak putus tunanglah, nak kumpul duit kahwin lagi~ haih... drama2 bakal mak mentua lagi~makcik mentua... haaa... kan? Di bawah adalah contoh-contoh typical mengapa kita akan bakal lambat mendirikan rumah tangga :

Anak : Kalau duit hantaran tak banyak macam tu tak boleh ke? Banyak mcm ni je ke...~

Ibu    : Eh? Takkan sikit tu je? Memang mintak banyak tu ke? Kan ada Phd, second master, second degree ...

Anak : Isyk.. apa je ada kat title... isteri yg baik bukan pada benda tu sume... lagipun ustaz cakap, lebih  murah belanja kahwin lagi berkat...

Ibu   : ....... haaa... kalau mcm tu mesti banyak ni... at least.

Anak : Hmm... *lambat lagi la aku nak kahwin mcm ni*

Dalam situasi macam ni... aku terfikir... tak boleh ke kalau setakat mak mentua nak duit hantaran 5 angka... perempuan pun kumpul duit bersama dgn laki... or at least... top up kan ke sikit? nak hidup bersama lama kot dari sibuk pasal sehari punya majlis yg surely lepas sebulan tetamu korg tak akan ingat apa warna tema majlis korg~mahupun doorgift yang mengarut2~ dari bebankan pihak laki buat personal loan untuk kahwin lepas tu pening lepas kahwin nnt...~ lepastuuuu... haa.. lepas tu... korg fikir la sendiri drama air mata apa yg boleh jadi~ 

ini adalah antara video mat luthfi yang aku minat!

Untitled

So lemme try this
out of the blue
im gonna come out with something

We grew up together
and till this day we are still growing up together
although distantly but
together
A family
We are
and I love all of you
more than anything
and I want all of you to know that
before anything else

I saw all of you crawling
walking, jumping, and now
Flying
Each and every one of you
High in the sky
All grown up
Old enough to know
what's going on

When there was only two of us
Seemed like long ago
almost like I had that in a different life
cause when the rest of you came
it was all grand
And I couldn't wait of what's to come

Held your hands in crowds
When I wasn't even old enough to hold my own
But I did it anyway
Because I felt so blessed
Stood by you
Pushed my shame away
Little hands, perfect
You were my world

Held up groceries
when you were inside mum's
Gave up my seat in a crowded bus
when Shane was inside of you
and when Timmy was so tiny
I was eleven

It all started long ago
We were together
The adults could never keep us apart
with whatever their predicaments were
It destroyed me when you went away
I saw my brother's eyes gloomed
when Timmy had to go away again on Sundays
I saw my sister's tantrums when Moon was dragged into the car
and right then my heart crushed
I was just a kid
But we were
Together

Now
Pains me to say
I live here
But I pretend like I don't
Moon looked at me like a stranger
There's barely words
No more together
and I blame the adults
and their selfish acts
But mostly I blame me
Because I should know what to do
I was there first
I saw things they haven't
But then and now
I am clueless as I ever was
and not to care
seems easier
and a painful irony emerges
because now tomorrow scares me

I will give everything
Tell me what to do
I will give
I will give
My love for you has no bounds.

Who cares what they say

who cares what they say when youre this good, this was how he made me fell in love since day one. cheesy as fcuk....but this....all over again JB...all over again....you made me......

Am I dying?

So remember my last post about the movies, told you i had diarrhea? that was like a week ago, well i am having it again today. Notice the present continuous tense? i, as we speak, am having diarrhea again. out of the blue. i dont know whats going on. i think there might be something in the water, but everyone else is not having it. and this is the second time. and this time it's even worse. the puking is the worst. i am so hungry but everytime i eat something i would vomit and poop. all ive had today is water. and i swear when i puked an hour ago it wasn't rainbowish in colour, it was blood. not like the whole thing that came out was blood, but there was blood. well, i am still able to write here, i guess i am ok. but if i have this again next week, im sure, theres something wrong with me. and trust me, it's not the puking and pooping thats bothering me, but it's the achy tummy thats horrible. it left me crawling on my bed wishing the pain to go away. we'll that's that.

and unicorns, i suggest you guys check the gmail often to keep track on the comments, cos its hard to keep track post by post (which is what ive been doing cause i have all the time in the world) since we have more than 50 posts to date. aint nobody got time for that, right...well i did, but not anymore.

pinoe----OUT!!